Love is a difficult topic to discuss. Discussions of love can tend to be be corrupted by other people's person experiences and viewpoints, religious belief systems, and even used to sell products and programs. Unlike the articles we write on electronics such as computers and cell phones, surviving in an urban environment, or making a way through the Big Academia system, there are really no set techniques or hacks to it.
However, taken on it's own, love is the meaning of life and provides the passion and energy for all we do and out of all the thousands of words in this project may be the only true thing that matters. If you look back into genealogy, you will find the love affairs of the past where you came from and destiny was made. But, love is not merely just that. Love is also a passion. From Beethoven writing inspiring symphonies that lasted centuries even though he was deaf to scientists and researchers like Pastuer dedicating a lifetime of passion towards finding cures with no expectations in return.
We will attempt to discuss some of the nature of love and how to love freely. Of course, only you can decide what to take from this and what not to. We do not push the agenda of dating web content, the church, or any other agenda. Just like everything in this project, you provide that for yourself.
What is Love, Baby Don't Hurt Me
This is where we as contributors run into controversy. Love through the centuries has been expressed through books and poetry, music and song, self help books, and religious texts. Asking any one source will give totally different results.
Love, and indeed, passion which is the energy behind love can be attached to a person, idea, object, or activity. Enough passion and love is deeply powerful and can affect time and space in profound ways. It can affect entire destinies and lifetimes of many people. Passion can actually curve time and space. It can alter and change profoundly one's place in life and the places in life of others. The more the passion, the wider the affect.
Now, philosophers have since the dawn of time tried to quantify and categorize love and passion with limited success. Some of it is pretty accurate while others may have applied to some specific situation years ago and be totally inapplicable to your place in life. Thinking for yourself and using judgment are, just like other areas, recommended in love just like any other territory in your journey in life.
Types of Love
While we do mention love is very hard to quantify, there are some aspects to it that most folks can agree on.
When we talk about love of yourself, we are not talking pretentious selfcenteredness or shallow narcissism. We are talking about taking care of one's self and truly being an agent of positive towards one's self and being the star player on your team. Negative people, bad upbringing, and even being in poisonous environments can deeply affect this. Life is too short to loath one's self. A lifetime of no esteem or hurting one's self through body fuck drug use or worse can eventually lead down a dark path of unhappiness. If you have not found this passion yet, do everything you can do to find this. If it helps any, liking yourself has nothing to do with what social class you are in, how much crap you have, or other material things.
It is easy to see that the main impediment to having a caring relationship is knowing or unconscious lack of self love and respect. Only hard thing is that it can be difficult to change your own attitude about yourself. If you are disgusted with your own life or how you interact with people you will come to hate and despise anyone who faithfully loves and cares for the one you hate most, you. Until you can shake this problem, (and that is what the 80 hours a week at the office white collar coke head on the shrink's couch after three divorces and his high school kid who lets everyone who treats her like shit have a free BJ share) you will never be happy or have a normal loving relationship because you despise yourself.
You will never allow yourself to be loved until you respect yourself, end the self sabotage.
Friends and companionship are a basic human need and part of a healthy life. While there may be times of loneliness (either self imposed due to some individual personal journey like a solo cross country trek or due to unexpected life situations), there are always some friends.
Good friends are rare and are golden. Most folks may only have one to ten good friends their entire life that have your back and you have theirs. We are talking folks that if you were going through bad times and needed a place to crash, you could, or any other favors you would give to them or they would give to you. One of our regular contributors has 500 USD that has gone back and forth between the same friends for decades.
Other friends come and go as everybody must follow different paths in their life journey. Some friends you may hang with for a few years before someone moves off only to meet them again briefly for years later for a few moments.
Acquaintances are sort of borderline "friends" on the edge of your circle who tend to be around during times of good but disappear if things go wrong or something you have in common no longer exists. Work friends and some folks in shared activities and cultures with can be in this group. Not that this is bad, but just be aware of it. Indeed, some of these acquaintances can become good friends with time or even introduce you to future lovers, opportunities, or even lifelong friends.
Regardless, realize that all friends including the good ones have a sort of emotional bank account. Whatever good karma you give will be back there even decades later. But, withdraw too much from the universe and your friends, you can eventually lose friends.
Unlike friends, we really do not get to pick our parents, aunts, uncles, or children. Now, some may have great and loving families, though some issues may still exist because nothing is perfect as human beings. Others may have been dealt horribly dysfunctional families rife with horrid physical, mental, or sexual abuse or you may have a teenage kid who has decided to join the darkness of hard drugs and abuse.
But, there is a secret to families. We can, wherever we travel, develop our own families. It does not necessarily have to be blood kin. Also, as you get older and have kids (or not), you can be very far away and only have the close loved ones around of your choice. Be forgiving and understanding but not be used and know boundaries.
If the cards dealt to you for family are bad, controlling, or saturated with unhappiness do not fret. We encourage anyone to live life how they wish and develop there own way regardless of circumstances. After all, STW is all about those who seek freedom - so much that it is on our logo. Many times this means traveling far away from the place of one's birth. Do not let the issues of a previous generation's issues be a curse for your generation, for life is short. Free High School and The Street are pretty good articles if you are underage and have these challenges.
Of course, this always receives the most hype. Everyone from the CorpGov CEO in his private jet to the gutter punk pan handling on the curb of a major city who has not showered in a week craves affection.
The difference between lovers and friendship is the introduction of sexual activity. This is not to say that friendship and sex can not go hand in hand. Indeed, most of the contributors will agree that sex is best when there is a friendship between the people involved. However, there may be many one night stands, relationships that only last for a brief period of time, or relationships that did not work out. All relationships are but snap shots in time. when historians look back, they will see who had kids by who, a list of marriages or divorces, and make assumptions not knowing of the real emotions and movements of that time. Some of these snap shots are truly long lasting. We have known of folks who have been married for close to a century who love each other just as much as they did when they were in their twenties. We also know of folks that have had 7 spouses. We know of some that eschew the CorpGov institution of marriage and move from affair to affair and love as many and as much as their time in life allows. We know of folks who have been voluntarily celibate to funnel passion into other areas like some important endeavor or cause. For your own story, let yourself decide this and let no one be judgmental.
Once again, the decision abut who you love as a lover and even if you decide to do this at all is up to you and we cannot decide for you. However, always remember that Free Love is always consensual, must never be hurtful or confining, or abusive in any way. Leave ANY relationship that makes this ugly turn at the first sign. No one should be forced to waste valuable life force on hurtful things regardless of economics or logistics that can be worked out with some effort.
If you find yourself at a lonely period in your life where you feel less that adequate because of some supposed "inability" to find a lover, do not fear. Short of rare circumstances, everyone will have this opportunity. Loneliness is actually an angel and an important messenger of good. It tells you to love yourself, get out, and channel this energy into a cause! The rest, the universe takes care of for you.
Love of Purpose, Work, or Activity
Throughout history, there have been those who dedicated a significant portion of their life force towards some work, career, cause, or goal. Now, no one will fault the doctor that really cares, the scientist that delves into the final true mysteries of the universe, the musician who funnels his or her talent into an epic ballad, or those that led movements that went on to create positive change that affected everyone around them for the better.
The only thing we at STW caution against is a current movement in CorpGov that would corrupt and change this passion and love for our station and place in the universe and life. Yes, it is good to have happiness and fulfillment with your station in life. However, many in CorpGov choose to propagandize this and make you believe your future depends on this and toss you out like a used whore when you can not perform any longer with little actual care for you. Like any bad relation, we encourage you to leave these relationships when you can. Work can be one third or more of a life, so why be unhappy?
Speaking of bad relationships and activities, you can also inadvertently put love and passion into things that are ultimately harmful. The guy that plays 60 hours of week on MMOs to the detriment of other activities or even vital attention to significant others and children or the person that spends the rent money on crack and begs borrows and steals not caring about anything else are just a few examples. Yes, there is a passion component to addictions. Even the psych techs in the good rehabs caution you about romanticizing harmful things. Poetry and books of former addicts describe addictions to bad activities as being akin to being with a bad lover.
We at STW really do not push any activity as being better than another. We only ask you to think about where you put you passion. If it holds you back, be rid of it. If it benefits yourself, and even better, society... go full throttle and never hold back on the dream!