Monkey Warfare

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Monkey warfare is using pranks to get attention by striking the least popular elements of CorpGov, to provoke a public reaction that will help bring sympathy to our cause. Monkey warfare is like regular pranks but more things get broken and the damage is often more costly, public reaction may also be spun more negatively since you are sometimes causing costly damage..

Safety[edit]

You must exercise caution that nobody is actually injured by the actions of your prank. Minimal monetary damage is also a good rule since we are out to mostly injure the pride of the target. Often our pranks will leave a mess and if the target can pinpoint the perpetrator they might be able to sue for cleanup and legal costs.

Have your group call a press conference claim that an anonymous friend, not your group, committed these hilarious acts which, while aren't endorsed, are thoroughly humorous.

Shake, Shake, Make Your Own Scraper Quake[edit]

This is a pretty amazing and extreme prank, the kind of thing you see in a movie so don't waste it. In South Korea a 17 person dancing class in a skyscraper swaying to some rhythmic music set the building to swaying after a few minutes just by their body motion. If you want to copy their efforts try to find a spot, maybe an office or other open space as high up as possible to increase your leverage. There are many factors including building height, weight, even the amount and slosh of the emergency water reservoirs for the sprinklers. Best we can figure you will need to have a seismic team one with a long weight pendulum and graduated scale to monitor sway, one monitoring the east-west motion and one monitoring north-south, they don't even have to be on the same floor as each other or the rhythmic swaying team. You will need to spend several minutes at each tempo set by an adjustable metronome while the monitor team checks for sway, it might take several days so be patient. As long as there are no engineer or math geeks nearby you might get away with openly testing as it being a work break cultish meditation group. Once you find that exact magic sway rhythm keep track of it and the exact location or at least the floor where it worked, remember at an average of 150lb a person it doesn't take that many to make this work, even in a giant skyscraper as long as you stay in sync, but the more the better. Use caution and stick to the core of the building where the steel structure is strongest, in the 70's a rhythmic swaying slow dance brought down a large open atrium bridge in a high rise hotel killing dozens at a large party.

The first group to organize this at one or several bank towers it will cause mass confusion, evacuations, and maybe give you a shot at some spectacular direct action approaching Fight Club scale.

Lockout[edit]

Make locks pick and key proof, use super glue and it will seize the pins, to be really sure the lock is ruined shoot a little carb cleaner into the keyhole first to clean out any oil.

Super Foam Distraction[edit]

A good distraction for drawing off the security or make the papers on a slow news day is to bring one or more mega-gulp type drink cups full of concentrated dish soap or detergent, then sit next to the fountain or waterfall display and break out the bottom of the cup with your finger to let the soap flow into the water, preferably near the water return grate or by the waterfall. Depending on the fountain you will have from three to over ten minutes until most of security is investigating the terrorist bubbles, which might take over part of the mall. This is a good chance to place a banner or other direct action of your choice while the rent-a-cops are watching the monster foam show. You can also try food dye or life raft marker dye, or a combination of dye and soap, which is a real mess. This also works in outdoor fountains.

Tire Fire[edit]

Burning tires in the road will shut down an intersection for a long time, a tire is difficult to extinguish with water. If burning steel belted tires are placed around (or slid over) a flag pole, fire hydrant, or steel sign post it is almost impossible to safely remove while burning.

Killer Bees[edit]

If you can get a queen bee during swarming season and covertly place it still inside the small transport screen cage it will attract many bees making a car or sometimes a building unapproachable. Queens can even be purchased online and sent through the mail at this time in a little cage. If you pull out the block as intended the bees can eat through the candy door and free the queen hopefully to freedom and a nice tree nearby. Honey bees are nice creatures, do not splat the queen onto your target, it will work but you will also become a target of bee swarms for as long as the pheromones stick to you.

Intercom Fun[edit]

Watch a store employee use the intercom, it is usually a one to four digit code or get cool with a younger employee and see if they will give up the code. A really sneaky trick involves unmounting one of the intercom phones from the pole or wall (leave the wire attached) and stuffing it behind boxes on the top shelf, grab a tape player from the electronics or toy section, a few batteries, and activate your hidden intercom, play the tape, this should be good for at least a few good minutes of anti-big box store taped information, music, and comedy for the customers to enjoy.

It's possible (at some stores) to gain control of the intercom from outside the store. Call up the store, and dial the exchange number for the intercom. If that doesn't work, have a friend wait by an unattended phone inside the store. Call the store and dial the exchange for the department she is waiting in. Have her transfer you to the intercom's exchange, then have her hangup and leave. Of course always make your call from a pay phone or other location where it is OK to be traced back to.

If you have an insider at a store with the cordless phone system perhaps you can talk them into letting it out of the store or 'loosing' it. With the intercom codes you can often have weeks of fun driving behind the store and activating the intercom, also a great way to make free phone calls, but don't let them trace back to you. Improvised chargers might be required to keep the battery full, and if the manager has a brain they will eventually lock that unit out of the system.

This prank has caused quite a bit of bad PR for the Walmart corporation due to friendly newspapers willing to out their racist policies and several teen pranksters making news by asking African-Americans to leave the store. Walmart has hired several internet security contractors who under orders have begun using highly illegal DMCA takedown demands and false phishing claim extortion techniques against website hosting companies in an attempt to take down websites discussing this exploit. Many retailers are also moving the telephone/intercom stations to more secure locations. In many stores you might still find the intercom jack in its old location though and if you can grab a phone terminal from behind a desk or in the warehouse maybe with insider help you can still use this prank as mentioned above.

Coughing Break[edit]

A small defensive pepper spray with a spray aerosol tip stuck on top instead of the squirt tip will leave stores, mall areas, and convention attendees wondering why their lungs are scratchy and maybe a bit of burning nose and eyes, done right the concentration will be low enough that nobody can tell it is pepper spray only that everyone cant stop coughing. This prank usually leads to an evacuation, be careful this can rarely cause real trouble for asthma and other respiratory patients if the concentration is too high.

Bitter Memories[edit]

There's a wonderful substance out there called Denatonium benzoate AKA Bitrex. It's a bitter substance you can buy that will put a person into all kinds of discomfort without hurting them at all. Sprinkle it on the boss' doughnut in the morning, seed the buffet at a political event, add it to the coffee. Whatever! You can also use Phenylthiocarbamide or PTC, but it may actually cause more confusion, since some people can taste it and others can't while they are eating from the same food. Be careful and check the laws in your state, sometimes tampering with food is considered a serious crime.

Moth Man[edit]

Catch a dozen or more big moths with an outdoor light bulb at night, keep them alive in a paper or cloth bag. Then next day release them at a movie theater or conference center. The moths will be attracted to the light of the projector and block the picture annoying everyone. This is especially useful at political events and movies which lampoon or denigrate our cause The only thing more annoying than moths in the theater is those damn laser pointers. Remember kids, fight the RIAA and MPAA - never pay for a movie ticket, download everything, prank theaters who are aggressive in pursuing clandestine recorders, if you are able, steal the theaters MPAA night vision goggles and use them for direct action.

TV-B-Gone[edit]

There is a great gadget called TV-B-Gone mostly for turning off TV's at pubs and airports so you can relax. They are available as kits and keychain fobs. Used at a big rally or industrial conference it can disable most television sets embarrassing the speaker and their organization, this is a cheap safe way to make press against already unpopular organizations sometimes even making them appear incompetent on their own setup.

Traffic Trouble[edit]

Often, Monkey Warfare is as easy as finding an abandoned couch and dragging it into the middle of an intersection. Make sure to do this with a friend, during a low traffic time (weekday mornings right before rush hour are the best). Also make sure to have a quick getaway (bicycles are best) in case a cop shows up. Better results are obtained if you can coordinate your efforts with other hit teams you can compound the effect by blocking alternate traffic routes, even better if you can devise a way to make your blocks hard to move by the first trucker or cop willing to bump your block with a push bumper. With the right timing and a bit of luck, this can cause mass confusion and major traffic jams.

Dumpster Fires[edit]

Large dumpsters often burn well and can be pushed or chain towed into the road before ignition. Fill one with something flammable (like tires).

Etch Glass[edit]

Phosphoric acid will etch glass, this is much more effective than paint on large windows, you can paint on your sign or spray-paint with a stencil leaving a image then use the acid the result will be an inverted image of the stencil frosted into the glass once the paint is removed. Experiment at home first, it could end up being a paying hobby frosting glass. CAUTION: Do not get Phosphoric acid on any part of your body!

Dissolve a Building[edit]

Hydrochloric acid (or Muriatic acid) can be used to dissolve cement and concrete. Drill a hole into a wall near the corner and plug in a hose from a large bucket of acid with a gravity feed into the wall, they might have to close the whole building for safety reasons. CAUTION: Do not get Hydrochloric acid on any part of your body!

Photo Radar[edit]

If you see a photo radar trailer or red light camera scout out for hiding cop cars, if there are none around tow it into a pond or off a cliff!! In the UK the latest fashion is to get pissed and burn down the camera pole.

Marbles[edit]

A bucket of marbles can be used to make riot police less aware of what's going on. They will be a little preoccupied trying not to trip. Marbles and rubber snakes can also be used to spook police horses. Keep in mind that marbles may crack horse's hooves and cause them great pain. They may even fall over, injuring themselves, and possibly nearby demonstrators.

Etherkiller[edit]

A possibility for taking out an office for a few days would be to sneak in and install etherkillers. These will be attached to cheap timers set for a very early morning period of time in an empty office. To make an etherkiller, splice a length of Cat-5 cable with a length of extension cord, plug the whole thing into the network, a timer, and the wall-socket (110 volt feed). After you've set the timer, leave -- you don't want to be around when large amounts of current are fed into Ethernet wiring. WARNING: This is a very dangerous and destructive activity. This attack will destroy some hardware attached to the network and may cause fires, so if you get caught, you may very well find yourself facing an arson charge.

Monkey Warfare, the Movie[edit]

There's a new film from Canadian filmmaker Reg Harkema called Monkey Warfare, which illustrates many of the principles. It includes a Molotov Cocktail instructional video whose script was taken from Steal This Book.


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Links[edit]

See also Weapons for Street Fighting