Movies and Concerts

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MPAA Avoidance[edit]

Most of us avoid movie theaters even if we can sneak in for free to protest the heavy handed MPAA attacks against internet users, pirates, and innocents. Why make a dying breed appear to be popular by our attendance even if we don't buy a ticket or snacks? Be careful, most larger theaters are now equipped with military night vision goggles to catch pirates taping first run movies and send them to maximum security prison for ten years. Get a job for a few weeks at a big theater and swipe the goggles for our cause.

Walk In[edit]

Many theaters have arcades in them. Simply asking if you can play some games is often a ticket to a free movie. If you know the timing of movies, and have nothing better to do that afternoon/night, go to a movie and as it's ending (before the credits), go to the bathroom. Once finished (or after sitting in a stall for a minute), head to a recently started movie. If you time it right you can watch two entire movies for free!

Alternatively (if your chosen theater lacks an arcade), you can use the following method to gain a reduced price admission. Two people purchase tickets and enter a movie. One person leaves, with both ticket stubs in his pocket. He then hands one stub to a friend in a parking lot. The parking lot friend and the person who left then re-enter the movie. Rinse and repeat. And if you're lucky, the ticket taker will recognize the person who first left the movie, and not ask for his stub, thus allowing him to give it to a fourth person. (A good example of how NOT to use this method is represented in an episode of That 70's Show)

Another way to get free movies in the theaters is to have one person buy a ticket and find a 'exit only' door, open it for the rest of your movie going party. But check to make sure there are enough seats in the theater of the movie you want to see first, and look CAREFULY in the projector room for any staff members that will rat you out.

My favorite method is to find a ticket stub for any movie and come to the theater at least five minutes before the movie starts with a friend that pays to get inside. Enter the lobby, but don't make it look like you're together, run to the movie and flash the stub to the ticket guy. At this point your friend should show the ticket guy his paid ticket, and walk in the theater. When the movie ends, leave the theater, and come back for a different movie at least a few hours later with your old stubs and different clothes. This never fails for me. Also, if your local cinema has a door that leads to the theaters two ways, one leading to the ticket guy, the other leading behind him, just run behind him as SILENTLY as you can to the theater. If the ticket guy asks to see your ticket, or you get busted, you're on your own.

Most ticket takers rarely look at the actual stub you're showing them. Ask somebody who is coming out of the building if you can have their stub. Then just flash it to the ticket taker. Chances are he'll just nod you along, but if he does happen to look, just say you're returning to the theater to grab the jacket/purse that you forgot. Then pick a theater, and enjoy the show!

One of our favorite ways to sneak into a theater with continuously running shows is the following. Arrive just as the show is emptying out and join the line leaving the theater. Exclaiming, "Oh, my gosh!" you slap your forehead, turn around and return, tell the usher you left your hat, pocketbook, etc. inside. Once you're inside the theater, just swipe some popcorn and wait for the next show.


Press Tickets[edit]

Free concert tickets can be obtained by contacting a given artist's record label a few weeks in advance and saying you're from a music publication (online publications are the easiest to lie about in case the local print magazines have already called. Search the internet for music zines) and that you want to review the show. They'll send you tickets or tell you who to talk to in order to get them, and if you're a good enough liar, you can get backstage passes. If you do get a favorable response, you can sometimes get one for a "photographer" too. This can either be given to a friend or sold to the really excited looking guy in the middle of the crowd for a pretty penny.

The Pit[edit]

A really good mosh pit can be the best part of a concert. Their presence in the pit is NEVER an excuse or permission to abuse women, they have every right to enjoy the rough fun of the pit without being groped or having their clothing ripped from them. It is the duty of every revolutionary to stand up and see that this and all violence toward women be stopped even if it means confronting a mob. Abuse is rare as most moshers hold to a code of honor will not accept abusers among them. If someone falls down push people back and help them up. The pit is all about rough love baby!!